A Kind Coach After a Bet: A Free Compassion-Focused Worksheet for Gambling Shame
Behavioural Addiction · CFT · Practice-informed
A compassion-focused worksheet for the hours after a bet or a slip. It explains threat, drive and soothe in plain words, helps the client notice the harsh voice and builds a kind, honest coach paired with the settling breath. It is placed before the values session on purpose.
Underlying mechanism: Compassion-Focused Therapy for Shame and Self-Criticism After Gambling: Threat, Drive and Soothe Systems and the Compassionate Coach
What it helps with
- Softening shame and self-attack that can lead to hiding and the next bet.
- Naming the threat, drive and soothe systems in plain language.
- Building a coach voice that is honest, strong and warm.
- Giving the client something to do in the next hour after a bet or a slip.
How clinicians use it
- Use it at Session 6, before the values session by design.
- Introduce the three systems briefly and ask for a recent example.
- Pair the coach words with the settling breath.
- Slow down and return to grounding if grief, shame or fear of compassion becomes intense.
Clinical Implementation Guide
- Introduce threat, drive and soothe in plain words.
- Write the harsh voice and what it makes the client want to do.
- Build the coach words and pair them with the settling breath.
What the worksheet looks like
| System | What it does | In gambling it can look like |
|---|---|---|
| Threat | Alarm and self-protection | Panic about money, hiding, "I hate myself" |
| Drive | Seeking and wanting | Excitement, hope of a win, the urge to chase |
| Soothe | Calm, safety and connection | Slow breathing, a kind word, a trusted person |
Clinical cautions
Not a diagnostic or risk-assessment tool. Ask directly about suicidal thinking at every session and follow local risk procedures, because suicidal thinking is a recognised risk in people with gambling problems. Deal with debt emergencies, coercion and financial abuse first, and refer to debt advice or legal services. Do not involve a concerned other if there is any sign of coercive control. Screen for alcohol and drug use, depression, ADHD, bipolar disorder and trauma. Avoid shaming language. The National Gambling Helpline (GamCare) is free and open 24 hours a day on 0808 8020 133. Compassion work can briefly raise distress for people who fear kindness or carry grief. Go slowly and return to grounding if needed. A kind coach is honest and does not excuse harm.
References
- Rabinovitz, S., & Nagar, M. (2026). When rejection backfires: Social exclusion and economic decision-making in gamblers. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 15(1), 515-523. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.2025.00095
- Banzulu Bomba, D., Koffi Nkazi, M., Nguya Makonda, K., Badimanya Albert, C., Lusala Lutsasa, M., & Benangindu Kikumpa, J. (2026). Network structure of gambling-related cognitions and risk behaviors among sports bettors in the Democratic Republic of the Congo: A cross-sectional EBICglasso network analysis. Addictive Behaviors Reports, 24, 100746. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.abrep.2026.100746
- Craig, C., Hiskey, S., & Spector, A. (2020). Compassion focused therapy: A systematic review of its effectiveness and acceptability in clinical populations. Expert Review of Neurotherapeutics, 20(4), 385-400. https://doi.org/10.1080/14737175.2020.1746184
- Gilbert, P. (2014). The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 53(1), 6-41. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjc.12043
Copyright and use in research
© 2026 Dr Richard Pomfret and Third Wave Therapy Tools. May be used in research with the author and site cited. Version 1.0, approved 20 October 2026, revised as the evidence develops.
Suggested citation (APA 7th edition): Pomfret, R. (2026). Calm the Chase: A CBT-anchored, shame-aware protocol for adults with harmful gambling (Version 1.0) [Therapist guide and worksheets]. Third Wave Therapy Tools. https://thirdwavetherapytools.com/
Part of
Calm the Chase
Related worksheets
Next steps
- Browse the full clinical resource library — every worksheet, free and printable.
- Hear about new free resources. Join the clinician email list for occasional notes when there is something useful to share. The sign-up form is at the foot of this page once it has finished loading. This worksheet is free without signing up; unsubscribe anytime.
- Professional and Studio workflows — saved Client Packs, secure delivery and programme publishing when you need more than individual free resources.
