The Kind Coach: A Free Compassion-Focused Slip Plan Worksheet for Stopping Smoking and Vaping
Behavioural Addiction · CFT · Practice-informed
A page that contrasts the harsh voice that follows a slip with a kind and honest coach. It records what the harsh voice says, writes the coach's words, sets out a five-step slip plan and holds a short slip review, so that a slip becomes information and not a reason to hide.
Underlying mechanism: Compassion-Focused Slip Response and Relapse-Prevention Plan for Nicotine and Vaping Cessation
What it helps with
- Softening the shame that often follows a slip and can lead to hiding and using again.
- Giving the client a coach who is honest and warm, not soft and not harsh.
- Agreeing a five-step slip plan in advance, so the next hour is a fresh start.
- Turning each slip into a short review of what set it off and what was needed.
How clinicians use it
- Use it at Session 3, before the values session, and go slowly if the client fears kindness.
- Start with the harsh voice and what it makes the client want to do.
- Build the coach as wise, strong, warm and honest, and say that the coach does not excuse a slip.
- Agree the five-step slip plan before it is needed, and use the review after any slip.
Clinical Implementation Guide
- Name the harsh voice and what it makes the client want to do.
- Write the kind coach's words and agree the five-step slip plan.
- Use the slip review after any slip and bring it to the next session.
What the worksheet looks like
| What happened | What I needed in that moment | What I will try next time |
|---|---|---|
| Vaped after an argument | To feel calm and not alone | Breathe, text a friend and put the vape out of reach |
Clinical cautions
Compassion work can briefly raise distress for people who fear kindness or who feel they do not deserve it, so go slowly and offer a choice. The kind coach does not replace risk assessment: where self-attack is severe or there is hopelessness, screen for suicidal thoughts and follow local risk procedures. Evidence for compassion-based approaches comes mainly from general clinical populations and it is rated Practice-based for quitting. Medication and nicotine replacement decisions belong to the client with their GP, pharmacist or stop smoking service. If the client reports hopelessness, self-harm or suicidal thoughts, follow local risk procedures. Take complex cases, pregnancy, serious mental illness and under-18s to supervision.
References
- Gilbert, P. (2020). Compassion: From its evolution to a psychotherapy. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 586161. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.586161
- Kirby, J. N., Tellegen, C. L., & Steindl, S. R. (2017). A meta-analysis of compassion-based interventions: Current state of knowledge and future directions. Behavior Therapy, 48(6), 778-792. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2017.06.003
- Marlatt, G. A., & Gordon, J. R. (Eds.). (1985). Relapse prevention: Maintenance strategies in the treatment of addictive behaviors. Guilford Press.
Copyright and use in research
© 2026 Dr Richard Pomfret and Third Wave Therapy Tools. May be used in research with the author and site cited. Version 1.0, approved 12 October 2026, revised as the evidence develops.
Suggested citation (APA 7th edition): Pomfret, R. (2026). Quit Without the Fight: A third-wave protocol for stopping nicotine and vaping (Version 1.0) [Therapist guide and worksheets]. Third Wave Therapy Tools. https://thirdwavetherapytools.com/
Part of
Quit Without the Fight
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