Values-Based Reconnection Matrix: A Free ACT Worksheet for Loneliness and Avoidance
Behavioural Addiction · ACT · Emerging
An ACT matrix worksheet that separates away moves, such as opening an app to escape loneliness, rejection or awkwardness, from toward moves that serve the kind of connection the client actually wants. It includes a list of connection values, a simple defusion exercise for sticky thoughts such as I need this to cope, and one small committed action sized to be done before the next session. A 2026 scoping review found that values clarification and committed action were the most common ACT components in interventions for problematic technology use.
Underlying mechanism: ACT Matrix with Values Clarification, Cognitive Defusion and Committed Action
What it helps with
- Helping clients notice the difference between moves that reduce discomfort now and moves that build the connection they value.
- Naming the uncomfortable experiences that show up around human contact, such as fear of rejection, feeling boring or past hurt.
- Loosening the grip of sticky thoughts by noticing them as thoughts rather than facts.
- Turning a value into one small, human-facing action the client will really do.
How clinicians use it
- Use it after the compassion-focused session so the client meets values work with less self-criticism.
- Let the client choose their own connection values before mapping moves, and treat away moves with curiosity because they work in the short term.
- Size the committed action small enough that the client would actually do it before the next session.
Clinical Implementation Guide
- Ask the client to circle the connection words that matter most to them.
- Map away moves and toward moves side by side, without judging either.
- Choose one small toward move and agree when it will happen.
What the worksheet looks like
| Move | Example | Short-term effect |
|---|---|---|
| Away | Open the chat app when the group chat goes quiet | Relief from feeling left out |
| Away | Cancel plans and stay in with the companion | Avoids the risk of an awkward evening |
| Toward | Send one message to a friend and ask how their week has been | A small amount of nervousness and a real chance of connection |
Clinical cautions
Values work can bring up grief and loneliness, so pace it and return to compassion-focused skills if the client becomes overwhelmed. Acceptance does not mean ignoring danger, medical needs or practical barriers to contact. This tool does not diagnose any condition and is not a substitute for individual face-to-face therapy or for emergency crisis support.
References
- Packer, K., Kingston, J. L., & Tibber, M. S. (2026). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) interventions for digital technology-related issues: A scoping review. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 41, 101003. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcbs.2026.101003
- Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Part of
The Loneliness Loop
Related worksheets
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